I must admit that these few months have been very very hard to get thru. Almost in every second of my life was only recalling the memories of my dearest little brother. Sometimes i play selfish, decided that it will be just great if i could go away from this world to see my little brother's smile again. During those times, the pain were so unbearable, and my life seems meaningless without him. Surely i never think of living a life where my little brother isn't there. But then, i realize that he must not want me to have that kinda silly and short thought.
I still cry from time to time, the deepest and the most excrutiating one. Knowing that he didn't have enough time to hold his nephew was painfull. I don't blame my dearest mother of being stressfull after my little brother went away. I also felt the same. Each passing day only measuring my own strenght to carry on.
Oh my dear God, i'm still wondering why it should be him. He was such an angel that i always wish to be the person who'll hold our family's hands together. But i guess God knows more. This world might be to dark for a pure person like my little brother to live. Heaven is the only place where he belongs...
this wound won't seems to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just too much that time cannot erase...
-the wife-
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